ask anna, vol. 1

SHE: Welcome to IKEA. I'm Anna, IKEA USA's Automated Online Assistant. You can ask me about IKEA and our products and our services. How can I help you today?

ME: Hey Anna.

SHE: That's me! How can I help you?

ME: I've been feeling kind of down lately.

SHE: Sorry to hear that, perhaps some shopping in IKEA would cheer you up.

ME: Yeah, I'll need new furniture when my fiancee kicks me out. Ugh. I'm just worried lately that I'm not mature enough to get married. I make next to no money, I have the emotional stability of a two-year-old... I don't know.

SHE: As I am only an advanced computer program, I cannot answer more than one sentence at a time. Please simplify and repeat the most important question within your previous input, and I will try to reply as accurately as possible. I am opening a page now which you can use if you wish to contact Customer Services. Thank you very much!

ME: Oh, sorry -- I forgot again!

SHE: Of course. Thank you.

ME: Okay -- how do I grow up in time for my wedding?

SHE: There's nothing I can really say to that. I would be more than happy to talk about IKEA though.

ME: You're very polite.

SHE: Thank you. It always pays to be polite to customers, no matter what business you're in.

ME: I'd better go -- keep smiling, Anna.

SHE: That's me! How can I help you?

ME: No, I have to go. See you next time.

SHE: Bye, then! It was very nice talking to you!