Thursday, December 11, 2008

In which Matthew builds to a climax

Things that are still on the internet,
post-Election Day, 2008,
that I simply do not care about anymore:


- Rahm Emanuel
- Hillary Clinton
- Change
- Hope
- Fellowship deadlines
- Articles on medieval English theater
- Caroline Kennedy
- The Richard Nixon tapes
- The Rod Blagojevich tapes (even after that article that compares him to Tony Soprano)
- Anything related to Rod Blagojevich
- Bill Clinton
- The Obamas' fucking dog
- Barack's fucking cigarette habits
- The jobless rate (now that my stepdad, loyal to Morgan Stanley for 22 years, has been laid off at age 60, it simply cannot get worse: so I'm not reading anything else about it)
- The View
- Bailout I (Wall Street)
- Bailout II (Detroit)
- Bailout III (my stepdad?)
- That guy in Austria who locked his family in a secret dungeon
- Planning a holiday "vacation" home that spans family and friends in three states and seven fucking counties (I may go Austrian on you motherfuckers)
- Britney (obvious)
- Whoever shot up the Taj Mahal (it was the woman from Jersey on Top Chef)
- Sarah (very obvious)
- Europe
- LOLCats
- Facebook
- Your funny link to LOLCats on Facebook
- Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)
- The new UC Berkeley English Department Blog
- Asia
- Stephen Colbert
- My students' final papers, submitted electronically
- My students' kiss-ass emails that accompanied their final papers
- Facebook

Things that are still on the internet,
post-Election Day, 2008,
that I do care about:


- Justin Timberlake

(See if you can spot him climaxing behind this link.)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Being over Harvey Milk might be easy if you're legally entitled to get married.

To those of us who dare to dream, he's still pretty cool.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Matt, I just started my paper last night even though it was due today and I didn't make the deadling I know, but I was wondering if I could turn it in for credit wihtout taking points off if I got it into you before the final exam. Please? Please go to my website and let me know if thats exceptible.

Matthew said...

Joe, I'm a dick: I meant it tongue-in-cheekly -- I do actually care about Milk, as I do about the Mumbai shootings, etc. But I've taken Harvey off the list nonetheless.

Elwood, no. You fail.